What kind of discipline is right for kids

Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Although new parenting books and child discipline strategies are always surfacing, many "new" parenting ideas are actually subtypes of the basic five types of discipline.

Positive discipline is based on praise and encouragement. Instead of focusing on punishment, parents keep making discipline about teaching. Parents teach problem-solving skills and work with their children to develop solutions. Positive discipline uses family meetings and an authoritative approach to addressing behavior problems. Here's an example:. Gentle discipline focuses on preventing problems.

Redirection is often used to steer kids away from bad behavior. Kids are given consequences, but gentle discipline isn't about instilling shame. Instead, parents often use humor and distraction. The focus of gentle discipline is about parents managing their own emotions while addressing a child's misbehavior. Take this example:. Boundary-based discipline focuses on setting limits and making the rules clear upfront.

Here is an age-by-age guide to discipline your child. Cheryl Embrett June 8, As kids grow and change, so does their behaviour. This knowledge will help you with disciplining children without resorting to yelling , threatening or having a meltdown yourself. They also tend to be very demonstrative. His job is to test his new sense of independence; yours is to set limits. Contrariness: Offer your two-year-old an apple and she wants a banana. Dress her in pink and she wants to wear brown.

Her favourite word: NO! Offer choices: Toddlers are all about independence and control, so you can avoid a lot of problems by giving them a little more say in their lives, says Pantley. Nip tantrums in the bud: Minimize meltdowns by finding out what triggers them.

If she gets upset when she has to leave the park, give her lots of warning 10 minutes, five minutes, two minutes before you start packing up. And limit visits to notorious trouble spots, such as the toy store. Take a time out: By the time your child is two, time outs can be an effective discipline tool, say the experts at the Canadian Paediatric Society. If your tot angrily whacks his playmate over the head, take him to a designated time-out area where he can calm down and get control of himself.

This age group is busy figuring out tricky social skills, such as sharing, manners and getting along with friends, says Pantley. Empty threats undermine your authority as a parent, and make it more likely that kids will test limits. Consistency is the key to effective discipline, and it's important for parents to decide together, if you are not a single parent what the rules are and then uphold them.

While you become clear on what behaviors will be punished, don't forget to reward good behaviors. Don't underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have — discipline is not just about punishment, but also about recognizing good behavior.

For example, saying "I'm proud of you for sharing your toys at playgroup" is usually more effective than punishing a child who didn't share. And be specific when giving praise rather than just saying "Good job! This makes them more likely to happen in the future — the more attention we give to a behavior, the more likely it is to continue.

If your child continues an unacceptable behavior no matter what you do, try making a chart with a box for each day of the week. Decide how many times your child can misbehave before a punishment kicks in or how long the proper behavior must be seen before it is rewarded. Post the chart on the refrigerator and then track the good and unacceptable behaviors every day.

This will give your child and you a concrete look at how it's going. Once this begins to work, praise your child for learning to control misbehavior and, especially, for overcoming any stubborn problem. Timeouts also can work well for kids at this age. Pick a suitable timeout place, such as a chair or bottom step, that's free of distractions. Remember, getting sent to your room isn't effective if a computer, TV, or games are there. Also, a timeout is time away from any type of reinforcement.

So your child shouldn't get any attention from you while in a timeout — including talking, eye contact, etc. Be sure to consider the length of time that will work best for your child. Experts say 1 minute for each year of age is a good rule of thumb; others recommend using the timeout until the child is calmed down to teach self-regulation. Make sure that if a timeout happens because your child didn't follow directions, you follow through with the direction after the timeout.

It's important to tell kids what the right thing to do is, not just to say what the wrong thing is. For example, instead of saying "Don't jump on the couch," try "Please sit on the furniture and put your feet on the floor. Be sure to give clear, direct commands. Instead of "Could you please put your shoes on? Again, consistency is crucial, as is follow-through. Make good on any promises of discipline or else you risk undermining your authority.

Kids have to believe that you mean what you say. This is not to say you can't give second chances or allow a certain margin of error, but for the most part, you should act on what you say. Be careful not to make unrealistic threats of punishment "Slam that door and you'll never watch TV again! If you threaten to turn the car around and go home if the squabbling in the backseat doesn't stop, make sure you do exactly that.

The credibility you'll gain with your kids is much more valuable than a lost beach day.